New life

Right after my birthday in July, I went to the SPCA here in town to put in some volunteer time visiting the kittens and cats in the Healthy Hold area of the shelter. I remember not wanting to go (volunteering had actually started overwhelming me and depressing me a bit - so many homeless cats, all desperate to leave the shelter). My husband told me not to go then if I didn't feel up to it. But something told me to go, if just for a little while. It was August 3.

While in the healthy hold visiting some cats in the cages on the upper level, I heard a "Meep. Meep!" and I looked down to see a small pair of bright blue eyes looking up at me. I opened her cage and picked her up She was 3 weeks old and probably weighed less than 1 pound. What a true bundle of love, vibrating with the glow of new life. She quietly let me hold her. She was there with 5 siblings.

I went on vacation for a week after that and then went to see the kittens upon returning. They weren't there!
I soon found out that they were transferred to a foster home due to their small size. I got a call from Foster Mom Barbara who has become my new BFF on all things Kitty related.

Three kittens died from the litter - 2 rather suddenly and the 3rd from health complications. We soon found ourselves fostering the remaining 3. My darling "girl" is a boy -- Jacques, and he has 2 siblings: Emma and " Baby Bear." Barbara named Baby Bear and we've grown so accustomed to calling him that; no other name has stuck.

So after all these months of sadness without my Sassy, she seems to have sent 3 furry new friends to keep me company (Yes, we are keeping all 3 - much to my husband's dismay -- though I secretly think the 3rd one is growing on him).

I enjoy their youth, curiousty, optimism, and outrageously transparent, abundant, and huge love. In many ways, they have saved my life just like Sassy did when I first met her kitten-self. I often feel that I am missing something - some thing that will connect me better to the ebb and flow of life, to others, to the present moment, to some greater love. In many ways, I think we all do. Cats and kittens are masters of emulating this positivity, this acceptance of the present moment.

Just yesterday I was so sad still about Sassy; how much I miss her so much. And then a kitten (or two...or three....) came trapsing and tumbling across my path to offer headbutts and hugs and fuzzy touches of love, reminders that said "I'm here. Now."